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Thank you very much for your editing. I especially appreciated your comments and critique. Your editing made my essay much more succinct and clear, and your critique helped me learn the weaknesses of my writing, which will help me in the future.
I've always been uncertain of my writing, but I think with the changes my editor made, I'll have a better chance getting into my top choice. I was very confused about what admissions officers are looking for in the essay, so it was nice to have an editor who knew what to include and what to take out. He helped me emphasize the stronger parts of my essay and remove the cliched parts.
Before, I was worried that my essay was something I would regret as the biggest weakness in my application. Now I feel like it's one of my greatest strengths.